Why Embrace Confrontation

Sometimes we have to confront an underlying issue before a conflict can be resolved. For most people, this is an unappealing prospect. Here are a few thoughts on the reasons why to confront:

1)    Confrontation is an act of caring – the confronter refuses to let the person walk blindly toward a cliff

2)    Confrontation is a responsibility – leaders and love are required to act in the others’ best interest by virtue of their commitment to the good of the whole group

3)    Confrontation puts limits on the relationship – this communicates clearly that we reject something of the other person’s behavior which can be scary or hurtful.  It is necessary to teach others how to treat us. 

4)    Confrontation must be an act of integrity – question your motives: am I doing this out of anger or love?

5)    Confrontation seeks to help others understand themselves better – people don’t always see themselves clearly and we can help be a mirror and we should all be so lucky to have such a friend.

6)    Confrontation must be done with care and flexibility – People can be fragile – carefully choose whether you will be direct or indirect, confront now or later, whether to be gentle or tough. Also, be prepared to recognize you might have misunderstood something of the situation.

7)    Confrontation is an act of courage – it may strain the relationship for a time.  The confronter may be ignored, rebuffed or retaliated against. You are accepting that risk.

8)    Confrontation is an investment in the future – you are opening up possibilities in the relationship in the future, you’re building trust as a courageous friend, fear only paints yourself into a corner.

9)    Confrontation is an act of optimism – confrontation paints a picture of a bright life ahead where we each are able to grow beyond our own weaknesses, blind-spots and failures.