Becoming Who You Are

In all this talk about leadership skills, personal development and professional development, we can sometimes subconsciously create an ideal that simply cannot be lived up to. We're each on a development journey, but does the journey ever feel crushing? I appreciate this perspective from Dan Cathy (Chairman & CEO, Chick-fil-A) about how to strike the right balancing of striving for more and accepting who we are.


Get To Work At Being You

Dan Cathy

Chairman and CEO at Chick-fil-A, Inc.

Have you ever felt like being you was not enough? As a leader, this feeling can be debilitating.  Every day, we are inundated with messages and images designed to influence our decisions, to mold us into a better you, a better me. Sure, those proddings can benefit us. But they can also steer us off course. We can get so bogged down with trying to be who the world thinks we should be that we lose sight of who we were created to be.

Am I an extrovert? Do I possess the right amount of conscientiousness to be an effective leader? Do I need to make some changes in how I’m wired? Once you start down that rabbit hole it can be tough finding your way back. When was the last time you heard someone say: “Hey, just be you. That’s what we want. And it’s more than good enough”?I’m not talking about a harsh individualism that promotes the self above everything and everyone else with little care or regard. I’m talking about celebrating the uniqueness of one another.

My dad (Truett Cathy, Founder, Chick-fil-A) was himself. Plain and simple. He put hard work behind his idea and stuck to his principles. Are there ways we can better ourselves as leaders? Sure! But in order to improve as leaders we first need to possess an awareness and contentment with how we’re wired. We should curate our self-speak and what influences it.

Pursuing the Inner Ring

So many things can influence us as leaders and as people in general. One of the big influences is the desire to be known, or to be a part of the “in crowd.”  The great writer C.S. Lewis once addressed an audience of college students on this topic. He basically told them we live in a world that pressures us to do what it takes to be in the “in” crowd—he calls it the “inner ring.”  We spin our wheels trying to be something we’re not just to fit in with the cool kids (my paraphrase).  It’s stressful just thinking about doing everything we can to be accepted by those we perceive to have it all together. It can be easy to lose ourselves in the process.

But I love Lewis’s reaction to the constant pursuit of the “inner ring.” He encourages us to keep a low profile, keep our head down, and do our work—the kind of work we are wired to do. He reminds us to surround ourselves with good friends who share our interests, values, and goals (well, I added values and goals!).  Something great happens when we keep at it and enjoy our work all the while surrounding ourselves with good friends and family who love us for who we are. One day we look up from our work and discover that we are the inner ring.  What I mean by that is it’s generally the people going after their dreams and working with abandon, not caring about the pressures from the outside world, who end up with something special--something of which we all want to be a part.

A Million Different Ways

The world will give you a million different ways to be someone else. And that often comes with a price tag. It seems weird that we’d want to “pay” for all the ways out there to be successful when a less expensive option exists: being you.  Of course I’m in favor of bettering ourselves in our leadership roles. We need to constantly learn and grow. But that’s different from giving into the pressure to be someone else so you can achieve a success defined by the world.

There’s no one better at being you than you. And I believe we’ve all been uniquely gifted and wired to be the truest versions of our best selves. Reaching your fullest potential comes from hard work, a commitment to excellence, and remaining true to the person you were created to be.  My advice? Get to work. And do it to the best of your ability. Remember how unique you are and humbly work toward your full potential. If you do that, I believe you’ll find success.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/get-work-being-you-dan-cathy?trk=v-feed&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_feed%3B9NFIerhvPdkgr%2BDj52D0Rw%3D%3D

Achievement Orientation

Hey gang! On Monday, we're going to be looking at the next EQ skill: Achievement Orientation. Some say that certain personalities are particularly driven to succeed.  As with many of the other skills, the secret is in the MINDSET. Achievement Orientation is no different.  Refresh yourselves on the differences between a GROWTH mindset and a FIXED mindset to prepare for our time together on Monday.

Fixed mindset and growth mindset

According to Carol Dweck,^[4] individuals can be placed on a continuum according to their implicit views of "where ability comes from".

Dweck states that there are two categories (growth mindset versus fixed mindset) that can group individuals based on their behaviour, specifically their reaction to failure. Those with a "fixed mindset" believe that abilities are mostly innate and interpret failure as the lack of necessary basic abilities, while those with a "growth mindset" believe that they can acquire any given ability provided they invest effort or study.

Dweck argues that the growth mindset "will allow a person to live a less stressful and more successful life".

In a 2012 interview, Dweck defined both fixed and growth mindsets:

"In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that's that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don't necessarily think everyone's the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it."^[5]

A large part of Dweck's research on mindsets has been done in the field of education, and how these mindsets affect a student's performance in the classroom. The growth mindset is clearly the more desirable of the two for students.^[6][7] In particular, an individual's mindset impacts how they face and cope with challenges, such as the transition into junior high school from elementary school or losing your job.^[4] According to Dweck, individuals with a "growth" theory are more likely to continue working hard despite setbacks. Individuals' theories of intelligence can be affected by subtle environmental cues. For example, children given praise such as "good job, you're very smart" are much more likely to develop a fixed mindset, whereas if given compliments like "good job, you worked very hard" they are likely to develop a growth mindset.

While elements of our personality – such as sensitivity to mistakes and setbacks – can make us predisposed towards holding a certain mindset, we are able to develop and reshape our mindset through our interactions.^[8] In multiple studies, Carol Dweck and her colleagues noted that alterations in mindset could be achieved through “praising the process through which success was achieved”,^[9] “having [college aged students] read compelling scientific articles that support one view or the other”,^[8]or teaching junior high school students “that every time they try hard and learn something new, their brain forms new connections that, over time, make them smarter”.^[10] These studies all demonstrate how framing and discussing students’ work and effort play a considerable role in the type of mindset students develop and students’ conceptions of their own ability.

Dweck’s research and theory of growth and fixed mindsets has been useful in intervention strategies with at risk students, particularly in challenging subject areas,^[11]dispelling negative stereotypes in education held by teachers and students, understanding the impacts of self-theories on resilience, and understanding how process praise can foster a growth mindset and positively impact students’ motivation levels.^[12]

^{https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset}